Am I bulimic?

I don’t think that I binge.
How can I be bulimic if I don’t binge?
I am ill, but the labels don’t quite fit as nicely as they used to.

I eat breakfast.
I am not sick.

I eat lunch.
I am sick.

I eat dinner.
I am sick.

I allow myself a supper of sorts.
I know my limits.

My portion size for lunch and dinner is large. I drink a pint of water alongside my meal.
Then I go to the bathroom.
I lock the door.
I turn on the tap.
I put my fingers into my mouth and I make myself sick.

I have a routine.
But this routine has to be followed. Has to be.

I can not eat out.
I can not eat with others.

I am trapping myself and my family.
I am tired again today.

Today I have been sick twice.
I must be a bulimic who does not binge.

I kind of think that the sicking is an expression.
I am hiding behind being sick.

I have to figure out what I am hiding from.